today my nurse practitioner gave me a locket. i cried. she has taken care of me and treated me like her own child from the very beginning. she has been more of a mother to me during my diagnosis then my own mother. i am always yearning for her hugs, since they are the only ones a get to the chance to just break down and let my feelings go.
good friends are so hard to come by these days, its insane how quickly i learned who my real friends are. the list has become extremely narrow.
instead of fighting for the ones that i had before my cancer diagnosis, im making new ones on my floor instead. this week i made a new friend named David, and it feels great!
people tell me they care all the time, but they havent shown it at all. i dont have much sympathy for people who are too scared, because they arent the ones with cancer. i think its kind of bull shit that i lost so many friends because of their “fear” of my illness.
but i just want to be positive and find people to connect with once again. i miss it.